Quarantine Questions
During the first week of sheltering in place, it became clear to me that this wasn’t a temporary shift. My sister had left her apartment in Berkeley to move back home, while my dad and I were transitioning to working remotely. We had dropped the lackadaisical idea that COVID-19 would never get to where we lived, instead, adopting a mindset which would sink in deeper each day. This is real. Take it seriously.
What I hadn’t fully digested though, was how much of my daily routine would depend on factors outside of my control. While most of my friends felt their energy being depleted by the lack of a social life, boredom, or panic over other uncertainties, I felt a gnawing anxiety emerge just because we were running low on veggies. Even admitting it feels petty. I knew that my panic didn’t compare to those with a compromised immune system, lack of shelter or job security, so I felt ashamed to even be panicking in the first place. Who cares if you can’t meal plan this week? Who cares if you can’t workout the way you could in a gym? And even though I kept trying to humble myself, the other part of my mind retaliated. Who cares? I care!
Read the full essay on Rukhsar's blog here
Over the next few months, Crab Creek Review will be featuring a series of guest writers and thinkers on our blog talking about our current times and the times before.
Rukhsar Palla is a writer and editor, currently serving as the Creative Nonfiction editor at Crab Creek Review. She is a Muslimah wandering, sometimes hidden behind sheesha smoke or the pages of a new journal. She received her M.F.A in Fiction from Emerson College and is currently working on a collection of short stories titled, Hisaab & Half-Truths. Her poems have been published in Fragments, The Cape Rock, Straight Forward Poetry, and other literary journals. In her spare time, she can be found sleeping under her rose tapestry or brewing chai for her friends.
Rukhsar Palla is a writer and editor, currently serving as the Creative Nonfiction editor at Crab Creek Review. She is a Muslimah wandering, sometimes hidden behind sheesha smoke or the pages of a new journal. She received her M.F.A in Fiction from Emerson College and is currently working on a collection of short stories titled, Hisaab & Half-Truths. Her poems have been published in Fragments, The Cape Rock, Straight Forward Poetry, and other literary journals. In her spare time, she can be found sleeping under her rose tapestry or brewing chai for her friends.